Wanting

Have you ever just wanted something so bad you could taste it? Feel it with every fiber of your being? I am there right now. In the wanting place. I was there about 18 months ago too. I got what I wanted then, but that time around me getting what I wanted depended solely upon Sgt D and myself. This time around...it depends on the ARMY. That is one of the hardest things about being married in the army, having to put important and life-altering decisions on hold until someone higher ranking than your spouse tells you it is okay to move forward.

I guess after three years of marriage I am still not used to having to ask a higher authority for permission. (I am clinging onto my independence with a vice like grip!) I do realize that this is a fact of my life now, but that does not mean that that I have to like it. And so I sit here, wanting and waiting. While I sit, I will make imaginary plans in my head and play with my baby until I hear the magic words..."They said YES!"

Objects

It is hard for me to let go of objects. I feel an emotional attachment to most of the physical objects that I have collected during my life. Sgt D is not this way. If he does not use it regularly and it is of little monetary value then he can part with just about anything. To say the least...this can cause tension between us at times.

I am trying to learn to compromise, after all I do not want to send Sgt D's OCD into overdrive. Since his homecoming I have so far cleaned out two foot lockers in our storage unit, two closets full of clothes AND shoes, and I am currently ripping all of our CDs onto a hard drive so I can sell those and put our DVDs into my old CD books. I feel this is a good start towards letting go of what Sgt D sees as "excess baggage" and in all honestly it has been somewhat of a cleansing experience.

Anyone who knows me well knows how hard this is for me, and seriously people, I should get extra brownie points for letting go of any shoes...after all a girl can never have too many pairs of shoes!

3 weeks

Sgt D has been home for three weeks now and it is amazing how much life has changed for all three of us. The changes are all good, and I couldn't be happier to have him home and know that he is no longer in harms way...that is until the next deployment. Please be patient with me if I don't blog as often as I am still getting adjusted to our new routine around the house.

Baby D is doing great with her daddy and calls him "dada" regularly. She knows who he is and loves him to pieces :)