We have not even left yet and I already think I hate traveling with a toddler. Thus far we have packed a suitcase for her, one for us, a footlocker, one tub of toys, one tub of Christmas presents (mind you we are just playing delivery boys as they belong to my mother), one pack and play, and one stroller. This does not include a bag of snacks, the cooler full of milk and a second bag full of car toys and her babies. They only thing we haven't packed in the kitchen sink!
The biggest question in our minds is just how long is Toddler D going to tolerate being in the car tomorrow. Will we make it to Roseburg, OR or even further? Gone are the days when Sgt D and I could just get in the car and drive to our destination with little more than fast food stops, gas stops, and potty breaks.
I am not looking forward to having to entertain a one-year-old who hates being trapped in the car seat for this 780 mile trip. I already know there will be lots of screaming and crying and it makes me worried about how Sgt D will handle the joy that is traveling with a little one as he has yet to experience it.
My next post will be from California!
Thursday, December 09, 2010
Saturday, November 27, 2010
Friends
It seems to me that lately I have become more aware of just how blessed I am by the wonderful people who surround me. Our family is truly blessed with the most wonderful friends and adopted family.
I know that if you can count your friends on one hand you are pretty darn lucky and I can honestly say that I find myself using both hands these days. I have friends that I talk to every day, friends that I see every week, and friends that I know if I did not talk to them for a year and I called them at 3 in the morning they would pick up the phone and our relationship would start right back where we left off. That is pretty special.
Good friendships I have found are hard to come by, in fact, I'm not sure that every person knows how to be a good friend or what a real friendship feels like. To me it feels like my favorite sweatshirt that I cannot live without. It is the sweatshirt that is stylish no matter what the current fashion trend happens to be and it always fits, even if you have not seen it in six months or a year.
One of the hardest parts about being a military spouse at the beginning of my army wife career was being afraid to make any friends. I was always afraid that as soon as I made a friend we would have to pick up and leave, but I have learned over the course of the past year (deployments sure do teach you a lot), that true friendships will travel with you, regardless of what part of the world you end up in. Thank God for modern technology: skype, email, and free long distance!
To all the wonderful ladies who have become an extended family to us this year, thank you! I love each and every one of you! To all of my friends who were with me before the deployment, I will continue to lean on you as I always have and I hope you will continue to lean back...I do not want to fall :)
I know that if you can count your friends on one hand you are pretty darn lucky and I can honestly say that I find myself using both hands these days. I have friends that I talk to every day, friends that I see every week, and friends that I know if I did not talk to them for a year and I called them at 3 in the morning they would pick up the phone and our relationship would start right back where we left off. That is pretty special.
Good friendships I have found are hard to come by, in fact, I'm not sure that every person knows how to be a good friend or what a real friendship feels like. To me it feels like my favorite sweatshirt that I cannot live without. It is the sweatshirt that is stylish no matter what the current fashion trend happens to be and it always fits, even if you have not seen it in six months or a year.
One of the hardest parts about being a military spouse at the beginning of my army wife career was being afraid to make any friends. I was always afraid that as soon as I made a friend we would have to pick up and leave, but I have learned over the course of the past year (deployments sure do teach you a lot), that true friendships will travel with you, regardless of what part of the world you end up in. Thank God for modern technology: skype, email, and free long distance!
To all the wonderful ladies who have become an extended family to us this year, thank you! I love each and every one of you! To all of my friends who were with me before the deployment, I will continue to lean on you as I always have and I hope you will continue to lean back...I do not want to fall :)
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Thanksgiving
This year I have so much to be thankful/grateful for. I am an incredibly blessed individual and I recognize that fact more and more with each passing day.
I have a wonderful husband who returned home to Toddler D and I after a tour in Afghanistan. He not only came home to us, but he came home to us relatively unscathed, all things considered. God was smiling on our family during his deployment and we are definitely grateful for his return, his health and the twinkle that is starting to return to his eyes.
I have an amazing one year old who is growing and learning more and more with each passing day. I told Sgt D tonight that I thought I would never love anyone as much as I love him...that is until I met Toddler D. She takes my breath away. I am thankful that I get to experience all of her victories and stumbles with her. It gives me a glimpse into what I must have been like as a child and what a rare gift that has been. I cannot remember a time in my life where I have laughed as much, clapped as much or cried tears of both joy and sadness, as this past year. Thank you for bringing her into my life.
I am blessed with two of the most giving and generous parents of all time. Not only are they my parents but I count them as two of my best friends and inspirations. This is going to sound really hokey but when I grow up I really want to make them proud. They gave my family so much this past year and did it completely out of kindness and love, I do not think I could ever repay them. They have 5 grand kids and I think they make each one feel special.
I am thankful that my husband has a job that allows me to stay home with our baby and raise her the way I am sure most people dream about. I do not worry about being able to put a roof over her head or food on the table because of his job and all that it provides. It may not be glamorous or even popular, but it is good honest work that involves a lot of self-sacrifice. Thank you Sgt D for all that you do for our little family.
I am grateful for the fact that I live in a country where I have a say in how things are run, and even more grateful for the fact that my opinion matters. That is a gift from the founders of our nation and I am proud to call this place home.
I am grateful for all the wonderful people in my life. My friends, family and adopted family. The support of the people in my life helped me survive the last year and I am so thankful for each and every one of you.
This list could go on and on and on. I could list all the simple things like the laughter of Toddler D and the sound of her slow steady breathing over the baby monitor, but if I did that I would be writing straight through Thanksgiving. Instead I will finish this post with a simple prayer: God please continue to shower my family with love and keep us in good health. Amen.
I have a wonderful husband who returned home to Toddler D and I after a tour in Afghanistan. He not only came home to us, but he came home to us relatively unscathed, all things considered. God was smiling on our family during his deployment and we are definitely grateful for his return, his health and the twinkle that is starting to return to his eyes.
I have an amazing one year old who is growing and learning more and more with each passing day. I told Sgt D tonight that I thought I would never love anyone as much as I love him...that is until I met Toddler D. She takes my breath away. I am thankful that I get to experience all of her victories and stumbles with her. It gives me a glimpse into what I must have been like as a child and what a rare gift that has been. I cannot remember a time in my life where I have laughed as much, clapped as much or cried tears of both joy and sadness, as this past year. Thank you for bringing her into my life.
I am blessed with two of the most giving and generous parents of all time. Not only are they my parents but I count them as two of my best friends and inspirations. This is going to sound really hokey but when I grow up I really want to make them proud. They gave my family so much this past year and did it completely out of kindness and love, I do not think I could ever repay them. They have 5 grand kids and I think they make each one feel special.
I am thankful that my husband has a job that allows me to stay home with our baby and raise her the way I am sure most people dream about. I do not worry about being able to put a roof over her head or food on the table because of his job and all that it provides. It may not be glamorous or even popular, but it is good honest work that involves a lot of self-sacrifice. Thank you Sgt D for all that you do for our little family.
I am grateful for the fact that I live in a country where I have a say in how things are run, and even more grateful for the fact that my opinion matters. That is a gift from the founders of our nation and I am proud to call this place home.
I am grateful for all the wonderful people in my life. My friends, family and adopted family. The support of the people in my life helped me survive the last year and I am so thankful for each and every one of you.
This list could go on and on and on. I could list all the simple things like the laughter of Toddler D and the sound of her slow steady breathing over the baby monitor, but if I did that I would be writing straight through Thanksgiving. Instead I will finish this post with a simple prayer: God please continue to shower my family with love and keep us in good health. Amen.
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Living with a Toddler
We made it, Baby D is now one year old!!! Not only that but I think we can no longer refer to her as Baby D, from this point forward she will be known as Toddler D.
Let me tell you, life with a toddler is interesting. I feel like she is in a constant state of motion and I am in a constant state of trying to keep up with her. It feels like every weekend we head over to Babies R Us for more baby proofing gear that we never knew we would need...that is until Toddler D figures out how to do something new.
Two weeks ago she learned how to open one of our baby gates (we now keep it LOCKED), last week she taught my friend's fourteen month old how to do it! We had to put safety locks on all the drawers in the crafting room because she can not only open them but she feels that it is vitally important that she go in them EVERY DAY! I think our next purchase will be doorknob locks of some kind as she can reach the doorknobs with the tips of her fingers and she knows that is how you open a door.
She only just turned one but I feel like we are dealing with a two year old. I cannot complain too much because it just means that our baby is SO SMART!
Another thing I have observed since the toddling began is that we are constantly saying several phrases: "You're Okay", "Bonks", and "You've got to watch where you're going". These phrases are said at least 100 times each per day in this house. Not to mention the fact that every day she is covered in more and more bruises from walking into doors and walls. We really need to work on that watching where she is going part!
She is so curious about everything! It is fun to watch her try to figure out why there is a bright patch on the wall when she is playing with a flashlight. She does not know yet that she controls that bright patch, but give her a week and she will have it figured out.
First year pictures will be posted on her picasa page as soon as I get the CD this weekend.
Happy Birthday to our precious little toddler amazon!
Let me tell you, life with a toddler is interesting. I feel like she is in a constant state of motion and I am in a constant state of trying to keep up with her. It feels like every weekend we head over to Babies R Us for more baby proofing gear that we never knew we would need...that is until Toddler D figures out how to do something new.
Two weeks ago she learned how to open one of our baby gates (we now keep it LOCKED), last week she taught my friend's fourteen month old how to do it! We had to put safety locks on all the drawers in the crafting room because she can not only open them but she feels that it is vitally important that she go in them EVERY DAY! I think our next purchase will be doorknob locks of some kind as she can reach the doorknobs with the tips of her fingers and she knows that is how you open a door.
She only just turned one but I feel like we are dealing with a two year old. I cannot complain too much because it just means that our baby is SO SMART!
Another thing I have observed since the toddling began is that we are constantly saying several phrases: "You're Okay", "Bonks", and "You've got to watch where you're going". These phrases are said at least 100 times each per day in this house. Not to mention the fact that every day she is covered in more and more bruises from walking into doors and walls. We really need to work on that watching where she is going part!
She is so curious about everything! It is fun to watch her try to figure out why there is a bright patch on the wall when she is playing with a flashlight. She does not know yet that she controls that bright patch, but give her a week and she will have it figured out.
First year pictures will be posted on her picasa page as soon as I get the CD this weekend.
Happy Birthday to our precious little toddler amazon!
Monday, November 08, 2010
Stage Moms
I am not a stage mom. In fact after watching a few episodes of "Toddlers in Tiaras" I have somewhat come to despise stage moms. However, I cannot sit here and write that I did not feel an overwhelming sense of pride and joy in my beautiful baby when she won a photo contest that we entered her in last month.
The contest is called "Cuties in Costume" and it was for a calendar being produced to benefit Juvenile Type 1 Diabetes. We only entered her because each entrant got a 10 minute session in their costume with a professional photographer and a free 5x7 picture. I did not for one minute expect that Baby D would be one of the 12 winners, but I am definitely happy that my baby won.
If you would like to see the pictures of the winners please click here. You may have to like the photographers Facebook page to view the pictures, but it is well worth it. The photographer is Shawnie Deutsch and her calendar will be going on sale soon.
This Mama could not be happier right now that her baby won, I can not wait for our 8x7 picture and our copy of the calendar! But I insist that I AM NOT a stage mom!
The contest is called "Cuties in Costume" and it was for a calendar being produced to benefit Juvenile Type 1 Diabetes. We only entered her because each entrant got a 10 minute session in their costume with a professional photographer and a free 5x7 picture. I did not for one minute expect that Baby D would be one of the 12 winners, but I am definitely happy that my baby won.
If you would like to see the pictures of the winners please click here. You may have to like the photographers Facebook page to view the pictures, but it is well worth it. The photographer is Shawnie Deutsch and her calendar will be going on sale soon.
This Mama could not be happier right now that her baby won, I can not wait for our 8x7 picture and our copy of the calendar! But I insist that I AM NOT a stage mom!
Monday, October 25, 2010
Wanting
Have you ever just wanted something so bad you could taste it? Feel it with every fiber of your being? I am there right now. In the wanting place. I was there about 18 months ago too. I got what I wanted then, but that time around me getting what I wanted depended solely upon Sgt D and myself. This time around...it depends on the ARMY. That is one of the hardest things about being married in the army, having to put important and life-altering decisions on hold until someone higher ranking than your spouse tells you it is okay to move forward.
I guess after three years of marriage I am still not used to having to ask a higher authority for permission. (I am clinging onto my independence with a vice like grip!) I do realize that this is a fact of my life now, but that does not mean that that I have to like it. And so I sit here, wanting and waiting. While I sit, I will make imaginary plans in my head and play with my baby until I hear the magic words..."They said YES!"
I guess after three years of marriage I am still not used to having to ask a higher authority for permission. (I am clinging onto my independence with a vice like grip!) I do realize that this is a fact of my life now, but that does not mean that that I have to like it. And so I sit here, wanting and waiting. While I sit, I will make imaginary plans in my head and play with my baby until I hear the magic words..."They said YES!"
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Objects
It is hard for me to let go of objects. I feel an emotional attachment to most of the physical objects that I have collected during my life. Sgt D is not this way. If he does not use it regularly and it is of little monetary value then he can part with just about anything. To say the least...this can cause tension between us at times.
I am trying to learn to compromise, after all I do not want to send Sgt D's OCD into overdrive. Since his homecoming I have so far cleaned out two foot lockers in our storage unit, two closets full of clothes AND shoes, and I am currently ripping all of our CDs onto a hard drive so I can sell those and put our DVDs into my old CD books. I feel this is a good start towards letting go of what Sgt D sees as "excess baggage" and in all honestly it has been somewhat of a cleansing experience.
Anyone who knows me well knows how hard this is for me, and seriously people, I should get extra brownie points for letting go of any shoes...after all a girl can never have too many pairs of shoes!
I am trying to learn to compromise, after all I do not want to send Sgt D's OCD into overdrive. Since his homecoming I have so far cleaned out two foot lockers in our storage unit, two closets full of clothes AND shoes, and I am currently ripping all of our CDs onto a hard drive so I can sell those and put our DVDs into my old CD books. I feel this is a good start towards letting go of what Sgt D sees as "excess baggage" and in all honestly it has been somewhat of a cleansing experience.
Anyone who knows me well knows how hard this is for me, and seriously people, I should get extra brownie points for letting go of any shoes...after all a girl can never have too many pairs of shoes!
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
3 weeks
Sgt D has been home for three weeks now and it is amazing how much life has changed for all three of us. The changes are all good, and I couldn't be happier to have him home and know that he is no longer in harms way...that is until the next deployment. Please be patient with me if I don't blog as often as I am still getting adjusted to our new routine around the house.
Baby D is doing great with her daddy and calls him "dada" regularly. She knows who he is and loves him to pieces :)
Baby D is doing great with her daddy and calls him "dada" regularly. She knows who he is and loves him to pieces :)
Monday, September 20, 2010
Things are about to change...
I think it would be safe to say that my world is about to change...again. I can't really talk about why on here, but suffice it to say that my nerves have started up and I am crazy excited at the same time. I foresee good things on the horizon for myself, my baby and for Sgt D. I know that at times things are going to be rough and difficult, but I also know that if we stick together as a family we can overcome any obstacle in front of us.
I know it sounds cheesy, but I really do believe that love and perseverance can help you through anything, and I think I possess a lot of both those qualities.
I know it sounds cheesy, but I really do believe that love and perseverance can help you through anything, and I think I possess a lot of both those qualities.
Saturday, August 28, 2010
Surprises and Secrets
I suck at surprises. I always want to know what I'm getting. If I am the person giving the surprise, I want to blow it completely and tell the person before they get an opportunity to actually be surprised. Everyone in my family knows that I suck at it. I remember when I was in middle school my family was throwing my God Mother a surprise 50th birthday party. I think I spent 2 months avoiding her rather than be forced to keep the secret. To this day she is still shocked I kept my mouth shut and she knows the only reason I did is because I did not go any where near her for 60+ days.
I did not even bother finding out what Baby D was going to be and then attempt to keep it a secret from everyone else. I knew in my heart that I would blow it so rather than be tempted I kept my eyes shut during most of my ultrasound appointments and only looked when the technician told me it was safe to.
I am now keeping the biggest secret of my life. The return date of Sgt D from Afghanistan. He wants to keep it just between us. He said he will call everyone else when he gets home. Can you believe that?!? He expects ME to keep MY mouth shut. I asked him if he had ever met me before and insisted that if I accidentally spill the beans that I could not be held accountable for my actions because it is the most exciting thing to happen since November 12, 2009 when Baby D was born. Is he asking too much of me? Am I going to blow it? I certainly hope not but this would definitely be a good opportunity for people to start making bets on my ability to keep this to myself.
I did not even bother finding out what Baby D was going to be and then attempt to keep it a secret from everyone else. I knew in my heart that I would blow it so rather than be tempted I kept my eyes shut during most of my ultrasound appointments and only looked when the technician told me it was safe to.
I am now keeping the biggest secret of my life. The return date of Sgt D from Afghanistan. He wants to keep it just between us. He said he will call everyone else when he gets home. Can you believe that?!? He expects ME to keep MY mouth shut. I asked him if he had ever met me before and insisted that if I accidentally spill the beans that I could not be held accountable for my actions because it is the most exciting thing to happen since November 12, 2009 when Baby D was born. Is he asking too much of me? Am I going to blow it? I certainly hope not but this would definitely be a good opportunity for people to start making bets on my ability to keep this to myself.
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Hail to the Chief
I do not often write anything political on my blog, mainly because I am pretty disinterested in politics. However, seeing as my husband is in the Army and his ultimate boss is the Commander and Chief, President Obama, I have to say that the way some people behave with regards to the Office of President sickens me. Whether you approve of his politics, of his race, of his personal beliefs or not, he is still your president.
During times of war, financial crises, recession, and overall depression, it is vitally important that we support each other and support our leaders. If you do not like the current president that is fine, it is perfectly within your rights to dislike him. Wait until the 2012 election and speak your mind by giving your vote to another candidate. I think it is completely reprehensible, however, to bash our leaders in any way shape or form in a public forum. On blogs, for instance, or on television.
I have been able to legally vote in this country for the past 11 years and instead of going out of my way to whine or piss and moan about a sitting politician I have used my vote to voice my opinion. It is the only way to get things accomplished, and it is certainly the least combative way.
Whether I agree with the president or not, he has my support because he is my president. If in 2.5 years I decide that I am dissatisfied with the job that he has done then I will use my vote to make sure that a different person is voted into office, but I will not listen to or join in on the president bashing that seems to be so popular right now.
Good luck Mr. President, you have a lot on your plate and I have faith that you are doing your best to make sure that you meet the needs and expectations of the American People.
During times of war, financial crises, recession, and overall depression, it is vitally important that we support each other and support our leaders. If you do not like the current president that is fine, it is perfectly within your rights to dislike him. Wait until the 2012 election and speak your mind by giving your vote to another candidate. I think it is completely reprehensible, however, to bash our leaders in any way shape or form in a public forum. On blogs, for instance, or on television.
I have been able to legally vote in this country for the past 11 years and instead of going out of my way to whine or piss and moan about a sitting politician I have used my vote to voice my opinion. It is the only way to get things accomplished, and it is certainly the least combative way.
Whether I agree with the president or not, he has my support because he is my president. If in 2.5 years I decide that I am dissatisfied with the job that he has done then I will use my vote to make sure that a different person is voted into office, but I will not listen to or join in on the president bashing that seems to be so popular right now.
Good luck Mr. President, you have a lot on your plate and I have faith that you are doing your best to make sure that you meet the needs and expectations of the American People.
Thursday, July 15, 2010
He leads, She follows
Being married to someone in the military is like being a dancer I would imagine. The soldier (usually a guy) leads and the spouse follows.
That in mind, I am not much of a dancer, my dance experience and moves pretty much haven’t developed past middle school when you had your hands around your dates neck, he had his hands on your hips and you simply swayed back and forth. The army though requires much more skill in their dances. They require you to be able to spin, twirl, do ballet leaps, sometimes dance on your toes, etc. They also demand that you be able to switch styles mid routine. In other words once you finally have the Cha Cha down you have to switch to Contemporary, and once you have that routine down, they suddenly switch the song to rap and you have to Crump.
That is what it is like for a military family. The song is constantly changing and there is not always time to discuss what move you are going to do next. You may have your heart set on a simple lift and he decides to spin you across the room on your toes instead. You have to adjust and make it happen, while also making it look easy and being graceful. Not the easiest thing in the world, but that is what military wives do, we make it look easy. We hold our heads up, smile and adjust our steps to the beat of the newest music playing in the background.
I am adjusting. I think until my soldier is back in my arms I will continue to adjust to the beat, and after he is home we will start practicing a new routine…that is until the army changes the song again.
(This post is dedicated to my soldier, I cannot wait for him to come home so we can dance together again - this long distance dancing is for the birds!)
(This post is dedicated to my soldier, I cannot wait for him to come home so we can dance together again - this long distance dancing is for the birds!)
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Scared to DEATH!!!
Baby D started crawling today. I am torn between being a super proud mommy and being scared to DEATH! She is officially hyper-mobile and the world is her oyster. This is a good thing for her development, discovery, etc etc. This is a bad thing for someone who is staying in a two-story house that has NEVER been childproofed and someone who is returning to their own home in a couple of weeks which also has not been childproofed.
It is scary to think that Baby D can now pretty much get wherever she wants to go, and even scarier to think that in a month or two she will be walking/running to get there.
Life has officially changed FOREVER!!!
It is scary to think that Baby D can now pretty much get wherever she wants to go, and even scarier to think that in a month or two she will be walking/running to get there.
Life has officially changed FOREVER!!!
Sunday, July 04, 2010
Happy 4th of July
I would just like to take a moment of my faithful readers time to thank my husband and the men and women he serves with for my freedom. You make my life possible and I am so grateful for all that you do.
Sgt D you are my own personal American Hero and I love you with all my heart.
Your baby girl loves you too!
Sgt D you are my own personal American Hero and I love you with all my heart.
Your baby girl loves you too!
Saturday, July 03, 2010
Change
Things change. They change all the time. In fact, change is the only real constant in life. As soon as you think you have one thing figured out it changes. My life didn't really change today, not for better or worse, but I did make an observation about one aspect of my life, my relationships. I have found that in the last several years a lot of the relationships that I have had all of my life have changed. It makes me sad when I think of how those relationships have changed, and the more I think about the topic the more I realize that it isn't the relationships so much that have changed, but rather it is me that has changed.
I don't want to think that I have outgrown a relationship or a person, but maybe I just don't have the same need for certain relationships anymore. Maybe the void those relationships were filling has simply been filled with something new and I am no longer dependent on them for whatever purpose they previously served in my life. I don't know. What I do know is that I have grown a lot and my life has pulled me in a different direction. I know that my life will continue to change in numerous ways, maybe one day my life will change in such a way as to bring those lost relationships back into my life. Until then...I have other things in my life to fill my time and share my love with and that thought makes me very happy.
I don't want to think that I have outgrown a relationship or a person, but maybe I just don't have the same need for certain relationships anymore. Maybe the void those relationships were filling has simply been filled with something new and I am no longer dependent on them for whatever purpose they previously served in my life. I don't know. What I do know is that I have grown a lot and my life has pulled me in a different direction. I know that my life will continue to change in numerous ways, maybe one day my life will change in such a way as to bring those lost relationships back into my life. Until then...I have other things in my life to fill my time and share my love with and that thought makes me very happy.
Friday, July 02, 2010
Good Bye 20s
Today I turned 29. Which means that my 20s are officially over. Starting tomorrow I will be on the journey towards 30. I can only imagine the crap that Sgt D is going to give me next year on my birthday.
This past year was probably one of the happiest and saddest of my life. This time last year my dad flew up to Washington to drive me down to California for a few weeks while Sgt D was in the field in Yakima. The best present I received last year was from Baby D, she kicked my belly so hard that night that Sgt D was able to see her move for the first time. It was such a great gift :)
In my 29th year I went to California 4 times. It was a record for me since getting married. I got to show Sgt D one of my favorite place in California, Lake Tahoe. He loved it so much that he asked my family if we could all go camping up there when he gets home. If that happens I have a feeling that my parents will be camping in a hotel and we will be in a tent.
The best part of the year was November 12, 2009 at 13:26. Baby D was born and I got to share the experience with my two best friends, my husband and my mother. She has brought so much joy into my life and I have loved watching her grow, change and discover these past 7.5 months.
I have made some wonderful friends this past year and I have learned a lot about myself. I have learned just how much I can handle on my own and I have learned that it is ok to ask for help. Asking for help is a hard thing for most people to do and I have learned that people cannot read your mind and will not step in/up unless you ask them to. Lucky for me there are lots of people in my life who can and will step up for me :) I am blessed.
This has also been the hardest year of my life. I had a very difficult pregnancy, and was so excited for it to be OVER! I have to say I will never understand women who say they love being pregnant. I most definitely loved it being over. The saddest part of the year was on January 2, 2010, exactly 6 months ago. It was the day that Baby D and I had to say good-bye to Sgt D. I've never had to do something so difficult in my life and I will be so happy when this deployment and war are over and behind us.
This next year I am looking forward to so much. I am looking forward to a wonderful homecoming for Sgt D. I can't wait to cook dinner for him, laugh at his dry sense of humor and fall asleep in his arms. I am looking forward to Baby D's first birthday in November. I am looking forward to the first time Baby D sleeps through the night! I can't wait for that night, but alas, I know I will have to be patient. I am looking forward to spending some time with both of our families over the holidays. We haven't spent the Christmas with my family ever since getting married, so I am really looking forward to it.
Mostly though, I am just looking forward to having my entire family together again. I miss being under one roof. This whole waiting for the phone to ring is for the birds. I hope 30 will be my best year yet, I'm not afraid of it I am looking forward to it :)
This past year was probably one of the happiest and saddest of my life. This time last year my dad flew up to Washington to drive me down to California for a few weeks while Sgt D was in the field in Yakima. The best present I received last year was from Baby D, she kicked my belly so hard that night that Sgt D was able to see her move for the first time. It was such a great gift :)
In my 29th year I went to California 4 times. It was a record for me since getting married. I got to show Sgt D one of my favorite place in California, Lake Tahoe. He loved it so much that he asked my family if we could all go camping up there when he gets home. If that happens I have a feeling that my parents will be camping in a hotel and we will be in a tent.
The best part of the year was November 12, 2009 at 13:26. Baby D was born and I got to share the experience with my two best friends, my husband and my mother. She has brought so much joy into my life and I have loved watching her grow, change and discover these past 7.5 months.
I have made some wonderful friends this past year and I have learned a lot about myself. I have learned just how much I can handle on my own and I have learned that it is ok to ask for help. Asking for help is a hard thing for most people to do and I have learned that people cannot read your mind and will not step in/up unless you ask them to. Lucky for me there are lots of people in my life who can and will step up for me :) I am blessed.
This has also been the hardest year of my life. I had a very difficult pregnancy, and was so excited for it to be OVER! I have to say I will never understand women who say they love being pregnant. I most definitely loved it being over. The saddest part of the year was on January 2, 2010, exactly 6 months ago. It was the day that Baby D and I had to say good-bye to Sgt D. I've never had to do something so difficult in my life and I will be so happy when this deployment and war are over and behind us.
This next year I am looking forward to so much. I am looking forward to a wonderful homecoming for Sgt D. I can't wait to cook dinner for him, laugh at his dry sense of humor and fall asleep in his arms. I am looking forward to Baby D's first birthday in November. I am looking forward to the first time Baby D sleeps through the night! I can't wait for that night, but alas, I know I will have to be patient. I am looking forward to spending some time with both of our families over the holidays. We haven't spent the Christmas with my family ever since getting married, so I am really looking forward to it.
Mostly though, I am just looking forward to having my entire family together again. I miss being under one roof. This whole waiting for the phone to ring is for the birds. I hope 30 will be my best year yet, I'm not afraid of it I am looking forward to it :)
Thursday, July 01, 2010
How do I do it?
A friend of mine who is recently married asked me "how do you do it?" Her husband travels for work and is often away for upwards of a month at a time. She wanted to know how I can possibly handle this deployment, especially with a new (well not really so new now) baby and all. I told her that it is not for the faint of heart. It takes patience, love, forgiveness (not him, but the army), and something to keep you busy - lucky for me I have Baby D and she takes up ALL of my time.
Deployments are hard and as I have said before, it would be only to easy to let this deployment beat us. I could give in to the loneliness, the hate, the anger that I feel - the hate and the anger are directed towards the army, the war, the leaders. I could give in to all of those things, I could wallow in them and be a very unpleasant person to be around. Or I could do what I am doing already. I can try to be the best mommy for Baby D and the best friend and partner to Sgt D. Neither or them needs or wants me to be angry or depressed all of the time.
I guess the simplest answer to"how do I do it?" is that I simply go on. I face everyday with the knowledge that Sgt D will be home eventually and we will move forward with our lives. Yes it sucks to be apart, more that I can possibly describe, but it is temporary. That is the part I focus on. Nothing more nothing less.
Deployments are hard and as I have said before, it would be only to easy to let this deployment beat us. I could give in to the loneliness, the hate, the anger that I feel - the hate and the anger are directed towards the army, the war, the leaders. I could give in to all of those things, I could wallow in them and be a very unpleasant person to be around. Or I could do what I am doing already. I can try to be the best mommy for Baby D and the best friend and partner to Sgt D. Neither or them needs or wants me to be angry or depressed all of the time.
I guess the simplest answer to"how do I do it?" is that I simply go on. I face everyday with the knowledge that Sgt D will be home eventually and we will move forward with our lives. Yes it sucks to be apart, more that I can possibly describe, but it is temporary. That is the part I focus on. Nothing more nothing less.
Monday, June 28, 2010
Baby Book
I have been keeping a baby book for Baby D. It is not your typical baby book, more of a journal really, it is called "The First 1000 Days". This is the prefect type of baby book for me because I know that were I trying to make my own scrapbook or even keep up with a traditional baby book, Baby D would not have anything filled in beyond the first couple pages.
The thing I like best about our baby book is that it is literally a blank page. I can write whatever I want in it and with the exception of some prompts towards the end of the book, I have complete control over the contents of the book. The only problem I have with it is that every day something new happens for her, whether it be learning a new skill or tasting a new food and I am finding that I do not have enough room to write everything that I want to.
One thing that is going to be cool is when Sgt D comes home he will be able to look through the book and the pictures I have been sending him the past 6 months and he will have an idea of what happened, when and what she looked like on those days. Another thing I am excited about is the day, years from now, when I get to give it to Baby D. Hopefully she will appreciate the wonderful gift of getting to see herself as a child :)
The thing I like best about our baby book is that it is literally a blank page. I can write whatever I want in it and with the exception of some prompts towards the end of the book, I have complete control over the contents of the book. The only problem I have with it is that every day something new happens for her, whether it be learning a new skill or tasting a new food and I am finding that I do not have enough room to write everything that I want to.
One thing that is going to be cool is when Sgt D comes home he will be able to look through the book and the pictures I have been sending him the past 6 months and he will have an idea of what happened, when and what she looked like on those days. Another thing I am excited about is the day, years from now, when I get to give it to Baby D. Hopefully she will appreciate the wonderful gift of getting to see herself as a child :)
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Cutest.Baby.EVER!
Saturday, June 26, 2010
I'll be cured...
I was talking to Sgt D today and I told him that it was good he called me today because if he hadn't I would have started to worry. I told him it was a sickness and that I would be cured of this disease sometime in the next 4 or 5 months. He laughed because oddly enough my time frame for a cure coincides with his not soon enough homecoming :)
I realize that a deployment isn't a disease, but sometimes the side effects can feel like one. The constant worrying, the sleepless nights (oh wait, those are mostly because of Baby D), the emptiness in my heart, etc etc.
I can't wait for my cure and I am so glad that we have more than passed the halfway point!
I realize that a deployment isn't a disease, but sometimes the side effects can feel like one. The constant worrying, the sleepless nights (oh wait, those are mostly because of Baby D), the emptiness in my heart, etc etc.
I can't wait for my cure and I am so glad that we have more than passed the halfway point!
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