I find that the older I get the braver I get. I am also gaining some confidence...at least in certain areas of my life. I have come to the conclusion that I have some talent. I think I am a good photographer - not the best in the world, but maybe better than average. I also think that I have some creative talent in my sewing and knitting.
I have started taking risks and trying new things. Just tonight I free-motion quilted a new quilt that I DESIGNED for Toddler D. There are two major things in that last sentence. I free-motion quilted a quilt AND I designed a quilt. Two things that I don't think I would have done a year ago, heck even six months ago.
A lot of my new found bravery comes from the deployment I think. During those 10 months I learned a few things about myself. I learned that I can take care of a house and a sick baby by myself (ok, mostly by myself, mom and dad helped out too when they could). I really did not think that much good was going to come out of this deployment, but I was wrong. Sgt D and I are more open with each other now. With the readjustment period behind us, along with the readjustment arguing, we have learned to really communicate with each other and that is something for which I am very grateful. Yes we have spats, but we are also quicker to rein in our emotions and have adult conversations now. The deployment taught me that there are bigger things to fear in life than messing up some craft project, even if I did spend 10 or 15 hours working on said project. If I mess something up now, I either rip it apart and start over or I chalk it up to a good learning experience.
I am so very grateful for these lessons. While I am not looking forward to the coming separation AT ALL, at least I know that there is room for growth for both Sgt D and myself. I really do think, now that we have survived a deployment, that we truly can survive just about anything.
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