Block Leave

Sgt D has orders to deploy, can't talk about where or when it is going to happen, but let's just say it is imminent. With orders comes the opportunity to take two weeks of leave beforehand for the soldier and his/her family to spend some time together. We are opting to take the second week of leave only, that way Sgt D can save more up for when he comes home to spend time with Baby D. I am getting excited about our plans for block leave because we are going to take a trip and do something we have never done before.

We are going to drive down the coasts of Washington, Oregon and California on our way to my parents house for my mom's birthday and my baby shower. It should be a really great drive at a great time of year. I am just waiting for my high risk pregnancy assessment on Thursday and the all clear to travel so that I can start making reservations. So far we are planning on spending a night in Florence, OR at Edwin K Bed and Breakfast. After enjoying the 5 course breakfast that comes with our room, we will head down to Eureka/Samoa, CA where we will have dinner at a place I have been dreaming about for 11 years, The Samoa Cookhouse. We will spend the night at a yet to be determined place in Eureka and then drive down to the Bay Area.

I am really excited because the furthest north I have been on 101 is Samoa, CA and Sgt D hasn't been much further north on the 101 than San Francisco, so it will be something new for both of us to experience together, and it will be our last childfree adventure for a very long time!

A second one?

People in my life keep asking me if I am going to have a second baby. All I can think is, "Are you kidding? Can't I have the first one before I make a decision like that?!?" This first pregnancy has been anything but easy, even the doctors at Madigan agree that I have had a rough pregnancy, and frankly on a day when I have to go for a walk-in triage appointment for pain is not the best day to ask me that question.

To be honest, I don't know if I want to have a second one, at least I don't know right now. A year or two ago, I probably would have said I would like to have at least 2. Things change though, and now that I'm more than half done with my pregnancy and everything that has happened during it physically and emotionally, I don't know if I can go through it all again. Only time will tell I guess.

The doctor told me today that my rib cage is literally being splayed apart from all the pressure of the baby and the fact that I have a small frame. As my mom keeps telling me, I just don't have enough room inside for everything in addition to the baby. The doctor also said that the pain is going to get worse before it gets better, so until the baby is born, please don't ask me if I'm going to have a second one, because I am in no condition to make that type of determination right now!

Getting my craft on

On Sunday night Sgt D and I started to clear out the closet in the baby's room. After all, we need a spot for all of Baby D's future belongings...right? We decided to move all of my yarn and fabric bins (a total of 3 large tubs) into our office/guest room. While Sgt D was doing all the heavy lifting, (I have the world's greatest excuse for not helping) I decided to go through one of the yarn bins and I found some pretty surprising stuff in there. None of the yarn was mine! All of it belonged to my grandma, who sadly passed away from Breast Cancer when I was a senior in college.

I had forgotten that after she passed away my papa gave me all of her yarn and crocheting supplies because I was the only one in the family who did anything like that. My grandma taught me to crochet when I was probably about 10 years old. It never really took, and I've always been a better knitter. The box didn't just have yarn in it though, it also had two unfinished projects: a baby blanket and a granny square afghan.

Keeping in mind that I haven't picked up a crochet hook (for actual crocheting - they have their uses in knitting too) in about 18 years, I was able to figure out the pattern on the baby blanket and finish what my grandma started. It was such an amazing experience working on what was probably one of her last projects. The blanket is now in Baby D's bassinet and waiting patiently for Baby D's arrival. The other blanket is going to be more slow going. I have been able to locate two of the three colors used in it (luckily it is no dye lot yarn, so I don't have to worry about the age of the yarn), and I will hopefully finish it in the next couple of weeks.

Working on these afghans has given me lots of ideas for Christmas gifts, which has made me excited, especially with my school ending in 2.5 weeks and the fact that I will need something to occupy my time during my last trimester!

Sacrifice

When I became an army wife I knew that I was going to have to make multiple sacrifices. For instance: being able to choose where I want to live, potentially never being able to have a stable career, time with my husband when he is deployed or in the field. I knew all these things when I said "I do", heck, I knew them when I said yes to his proposal.

Some days are harder than others though. I consider myself a pretty strong minded independent person and I hate relinquishing control over any aspect of my life to anyone. It is hard to say, "Ok, tell me what to do next and I'll do anything you say." In fact, saying that is damn near impossible for me. I want to have a say, I want to have a vote, and more importantly I just want to be heard.

That is not a reality when you are married to someone in the military. You lose your vote on all the things you once held as sacred and all you are left with is how you will handle the situation. Will you handle it with grace and dignity? Will you become angry and bitter? Will you become the army wife that most civilians think of - the cheating rotten human being who does not care about the sacrifice their spouse is making for them and their country?

I want so bad to be able to handle all this with grace and dignity. I am beginning to realize that at times it is absolutely necessary to put it in the hands of God and trust that he will take care of me and my family. When you are somewhat of a control-freak...that can be a major challenge. Please be patient with me while I struggle to become worthy of the challenge.

Projects

With Sgt D away and the fact that I'm not working I have needed to find things to do to occupy my mind and my time. I am currently enrolled in three online courses, and after this experience I have no intention of ever taking another online course again. It is, however, a means to an end, and once I complete these three courses I will be one step closer to completing my Masters degree. I am also working on a knitted blanket for Baby D. It is super cute in blue and green stripes (no, the colors have nothing to do with whether Baby D is a boy or girl, I just happen to like them). Pictures to follow when I finish it.



While I've been home my mom helped me pick out fabric for a quilt I would like to make for Sgt D. Oddly enough it too is in blues and greens. I think he is really going to like it when he sees it. All my fabric is washed, starched, ironed and ready for cutting. Hopefully it will not take me forever to make. My mom and I have also been working on curtains for Baby D's new bedroom. My mom had this jungle print in her closet for who knows how many years and it is perfect because we decided to go with a jungle theme for the baby room.

Today though is going to be the best distraction of all, and while it does not fit into the category of projects I think it bears mentioning. I'm going to see Harry Potter! Can't wait :)

Take Me Out to the Ballgame

I just got back from a Giants game, even though I live in Washington I've still managed to attend two so far this season, and one was in Washington! The first game was the Giants against the Mariners, and while the Mariners won (every dog has their day) it was still an awesome game. My parents flew up for the weekend, and Sgt D, my parents and I all went together. It was the first time that my dad went to a ballgame at a "foreign stadium", so that was pretty cool.

Today I went to a game with a friend from elementary school. We had a good time even though the Giants got stomped. Oh well, they won 7 of their last 10, so they are still tops in my book. My friend was wonderful, the game was for my birthday and while we were there, she bought a tee for Baby D. It says "My first Giants Tee" on it and is super cute. Can't wait to try it on our little one...although i am going to have to wait another 4 months for that to happen.

The rest of my stay in California looks like it is going to be just as fun as the first week was. I am going to have dinner at my favorite restaurant tomorrow and spend Thursday and Friday with my mom. On Saturday I get to see my extended family including my niece and nephew, which I am really looking forward to. I brought down one of Sgt D's old BDU uniforms to give to my nephew. He is a cutie, whenever I talk to him he always asks me how Uncle GI Joe is doing. I'm not even sure if he knows Sgt D's name at this point, but Uncle GI Joe is so cute that I don't have the heart to correct him.

More later in the week....

Normal fears

Sgt D is deploying soon. In order to get ready for that deployment he is going to the field for a month. This is the longest we will be apart since we got married. To top it off, I'm also 20.5 weeks pregnant, which means our little bundle of joy has begun to turn my insides into a one-sided kicking contest, and Baby D is definitely winning. I decided that during the first part of his training I would come to California for a visit, which I'm glad I did because I am usually so busy here that I don't have much time to think about just how much I miss him until I go to bed and right when I wake up in the morning.

One thing that is really hard though is that Sgt D did not get to feel Baby D move before I left, he got to see it on my last night, but not feel it. This has just about broken my heart. It makes me think of all the other "firsts" that are going to be missed in the coming year. I know that it is important not to focus on this, but it is on my mind and I can't really help it. I am reminding myself that I need to be strong, which I am, but sometimes I wish that I didn't have to be. Oh well, this is the life of an army wife and a soon to be army brat. We will get through and we will support Sgt D 110% during this deployment and whatever else the army may have in store for us.

Footprints on my belly

As most of my readers know I have not been having the easiest of pregnancies, I'm 18 weeks and 2 days along and I've already been to the ER twice and I've had to have a consult with the Maternal Fetal Medicine group. I haven't been able to consistently take my prenatal vitamins because they either make me throw up or make me wish I had thrown up. I haven't been sleeping well because I cannot get comfortable (and this is causing me to be a cranky bugger, just ask Sgt D or my mom, who have more than once been on the receiving end of my crankiness).

Well...today made the past 4 months all worth it. I got to see Baby D on an amazing ultrasound and this is my favorite picture. Baby D was making footprints on my belly and on my heart. I fell absolutely head over heels in love today with Baby D, and I'm finally starting to see past my misery to what I have to look forward to in 22 weeks!

Dear Doctor

Dear Doctors everywhere,

I just thought I would point out a few things that you may have forgotten on the road to becoming the medical "genius" that you are today. Your patients are people, they have real emotions and real issues, they are not something to be studied in a vacuum. Your actions can impact not only your patient but all of that patients loved ones who are depending on your expertise to make the patient better.

Your patients deserve a good bedside manner and are looking to you to be their advocate, that is why they have entrusted you with their health care. You are not the only fish in the sea and believe it or not, for the most part, patients have a choice in whether or not they allow you to continue as their health care provider. Please remember this the next time you have over-booked yourself and can only allow five minutes for the exam and no time for questions. Also remember that, believe it or not, your patients have schedules and lives that are just as hectic as yours is, and when you keep them waiting you are potentially interfering with their entire day as well. Most people work for a living or have other commitments during the day and do not have time sit idly in a waiting room while you send emails and twitter on your blackberry.

I would also like to take this time to thank you. I realize that what you have done by becoming a health care professional is a great thing. You have chosen to help others and at times you sacrifice your personal life and time with your family to do so, please do not think this goes unnoticed or unappreciated. Sometimes it is easier to be angry with you personally rather than a health care system that does not work because we know you, and the health care system, while part of our lives, is a somewhat abstract entity.

Please take these suggestions and compliments to heart. Patients everywhere, this one included, would appreciate any positive changes that may result.

Sincerely,
A patient of 27 years, 11 months and 6 days

Advice

Sometimes when you tell a friend that you are having a bad day or that crappy things are going on you really do want their advice on how to handle the situation. Generally when you are looking for advice phrases such as: "what do you think?" "what are your thoughts?", are common.

Other times though, you are simply looking for someone to listen and be supportive. You don't want their advice, in fact you don't even want their thoughts on the situation. You just want to know that they care and understand what you are going through.

Today I am looking for someone to listen and be supportive. I'm not looking for advice or how someone else would have handled the situation because guess what, no one else is in the situation, I'm the person going through it and all I want right now is someone to empathize with me. I don't want to hear about a time you went through something similar or how you think I should handle the situation. I am handling it, I just wanted to share part of my day with you and know that you care.

Before giving advice or thoughts, make sure that the person you are giving a piece of your mind to actually wants it. If not, all you may be doing is upsetting them even more and that is probably the last thing in the world that they need right now!

(Sorry for the rant, but I needed to get it out of my system and off my chest!)

Food Glorious Food!

I'm back up to three meals a day and two snacks! I am so excited. So far the second trimester is infinitely better than the first one, which was just painful. My energy level is up and I know that eating regularly is so much better for Baby D.

Who knew how happy a simple sandwich and chips could make me. Amazing!

maternity clothes

I haven't wanted to go maternity clothes shopping, but this weekend my mom took me and after wasting our time at Target, we ended up at Kohl's and found some great stuff. I would just like to tell the people who run Target that in the Pacific Northwest our summer doesn't get too much hotter than 75 degrees and therefore carrying nothing but shorts for pregnant women is STUPID. It gets cold and wet here! We need pants too!!!

I digress... Kohl's had a great selection and an awesome sale going on. I was able to get two pairs of jeans and four tops, which I was so excited about! It is amazing how much more comfortable I am wearing my maternity pants compared to my jeans. I am so happy, and not only that...but my nausea is getting better. Two things to celebrate!

starting to feel better

This weekend was the first in my pregnancy that I didn't feel like absolute garbage every moment of every waking day. This was especially nice in light of the fact that my parents were here for a visit and that we moved and I couldn't really afford to be sick the whole time. I swear, any woman who says that pregnancy is great and wonderful and all that jazz is full of it (and I'm sure you can figure out what "it" is).

We had a lot of fun this weekend with my parents. We unpacked almost the whole house on Saturday and had a great dinner at our favorite Japanese restaurant, Two Koi in Tacoma, WA. We also went to an action packed Giants v. the Mariners game on Sunday, which was so close, but alas, we lost. My mom also took me shopping on Sunday for maternity clothes, which are way more comfortable than wearing jeans with the button undone.

Today we went for a nice walk around part of American Lake which is right beside our new house. It was a great walk and I can't wait to go fishing there. Now they are on the plane and leaving for home. I'm gonna miss them, but I'm really looking forward to going to California this summer for a few weeks. It will be a nice treat.

Hearing Things

For years now I have slept with earplugs in...nine years to be exact. When I was younger noises at night didn't seem to bother me too much, when I got to college though...everything changed. My sophomore year roommate snored, and I don't mean a dainty little snore, I mean a football linebacker snore. I had every intent after the school year was over to go home and stop using the earplugs, but then I found that the slightest noises at home were keeping me awake too. You know the noises I'm talking about, the wind, an annoying 18 lb cat that needs attention at 2 am, my mom opening the garage door at o'dark thirty, etc. So I kept using them.

Ever since I've been pregnant though, they have been really bothering me, but what is worse is that (according to my pregnancy books) my hearing seems to be getting better the more pregnant I get. So now I hear all the sounds in my apartment, AND in the apartment above me (and some of those sounds I really wish I could block out, like the sound of my neighbor going pee). I realize the neighbor problems will end on Friday when we move into our 3 bedroom house on post, but all the other noises will still be there.

Well last night was the first night in about three weeks that I was able to sleep with my earplugs in. I only woke up a couple of times (which is normal for me), and I was able to sleep from 11:15pm to 10:48am. I was so happy. I really hope this turns into a sleeping streak!

Facebook

Facebook is an interesting experience. I have a page, and ever since joining I began to get friend requests from people I went to high school with. This was no surprise from my good friends from high school, but some of the people who sent me friend requests was down right shocking. I mean, some of these girls barely knew my name in school, and now they want to be my friend. I generally accept the requests when I get them. I mean after all, I do know the person (six degrees of separation know them), and we do have something in common. I just get a little disappointed every time I accept one and come to figure out that the person is what I like to call a friend collector. They have 300+ or 400+ friends and can't possibly keep up with each and every one of them. It really does bring me back to high school and reminds me that life really is a popularity contest, and you know what, I didn't have time for that game in high school, and now...I don't have the energy for it!

I found out yesterday that my high school reunion is on September 10th of this year. It seems to be at some kinda bar in San Francisco. By the time it rolls around I will be at the end of my seventh month (or sixth) and I'm not really sure that going to a bar that far along could be viewed as anything but inappropriate! We shall see what happens. I didn't have any interest for the 5 year, and while I am mildly more interested now, I just don't know if I am interested enough.

13 Weeks

Today I am thirteen weeks along in my pregnancy, and so far...I'm not loving the experience. I have always heard of women who loved being pregnant and I'm beginning to wonder about their sanity. Throwing up, being nauseous, dizzy, tired, my skin drying out, my hair feeling and looking dull...and the icing on the cake today was that I fainted.

I'm really looking forward to the 2nd trimester when everyone swears I will start feeling better. This cannot happen quickly enough.

****FYI...I just got off the phone with the urgent care nurse at the hospital and she says fainting at this point in the pregnancy is perfectly normal. She wants me to watch my temperature and make sure it does not go too high, or I have to go in.****

We're Moving!

I finally managed to convince Sgt D that we need to move on post, and we are moving on May 22nd. I am really excited, because we are expecting Baby D to join our family in about 6 months (give or take depending on whether or not Baby D will be early or late) we qualified for a three bedroom house in a great neighborhood. Our new neighborhood is called Beachwood and our house is literally less than a block from American Lake. I can't wait to go fishing in the summer and walk back and BBQ our catch at our new house.

The house is a three bedroom home, with a carport and two storage areas. The best part is that our move in date matches almost perfectly with when our lease is up at our current apt, so we won't be charged any lease breakage fees. Sgt D's commute is also going to be cut significantly and we will be closer to grocery shopping, the PX and most importantly in the coming months...the Hospital.

Once we get settled and have the internet up and running at our new place I will post pictures. I am very excited!

Long time no blog

So, many of you may have noticed that I haven't been blogging recently. I have a good reason, I swear. I have been keeping a secret and trying to let as many people know personally as possible, however, at this point I have either been unsuccessful at getting in touch with you or you already know.

SGT D & I ARE HAVING A BABY!!!

We are really excited and I just wanted to let everyone out there know that this is the reason I haven't been blogging. I'm terrible at keeping secrets, but now that we have reached the 3 month mark, I finally feel good about sharing the news.

Never Say Never!

I was watching the weather report on Friday morning and the meteorologist said that there was going to be rain all weekend and (direct quote here) "absolutely no chance of snow below 3,000 feet." Well...this is why weathermen should not use the word absolutely in any sentence. I woke up this morning to snow falling, and falling hard at that! It was absolutely beautiful, but it made me laugh. Why on earth would he say that, all it did was guarantee that at some point this weekend we would have snow!

Silly weatherman should have known better than to be forecasting in absolute terms!

NO Adult Supervision

I started quilting when I was 20 years old. My first quilt was for the birth of my niece. Very simple, in fact the backing was leftover fabric from my rainbow days. My next quilt was for a four year mistake, damn I wish I hadn't wasted the quilt on him! My third quilt was for my nephew, then I made a quilt top for my cousin B, my mom finished it this past year and it was a Christmas gift from both of us. My fourth quilt went to my in-laws and my sixth quilt made it here to my own bed. It turned out beautifully. It is an "Around the World" pattern and while it isn't perfect I absolutely love it.

Yesterday though was a really exciting day in my quilting life. I put together a quilt that I made by myself...With No Adult Supervision (meaning no help from my mom). That was a big moment for me. It isn't 100% perfect, but that is what makes homemade gifts special, the little imperfections. This quilt is for my Adult Supervisor (I like to call her mom though). She has already seen it and knows I'm making it, so I don't mind posting it in a place where she can get a sneak peak of one of her gifts.

(the picture quality isn't the best because I used my camera phone)