Settling back in

Some days it feels like this deployment and reintegration period will never be over. We are still settling back in to a routine and to each other.  There are times when I see my husband and wonder where he has been, then there are times when I see him and wonder who the person is standing in front of me.

We have both been changed so much by this deployment. I know I have become even more hard headed and independent (for those of you who know me it may be hard to believe that I could be EVEN more hard headed). I know how I like things and how I want things done and it is so hard for me to let go of the simplest of routines.  I am trying though. I have stepped almost completely out of bath time, that is no longer one of my things. I give Toddler D and Sgt D their time together every night, it is good for all three of us I think.

Sgt D has become angry and short tempered. Luckily I am the only one who gets the brunt of this, whether deservedly or not.  I hope that he finds a way to channel his anger into something positive. Lately he has channeled it towards committing mass murder on his COD Black Ops game. Better he channel it towards fake people than towards us.  Sometimes it takes a lot to set him off and sometimes it takes something as stupid (now this is my opinion) as his football team losing and he is like an atomic bomb. Just get out of his way! 

My biggest hope is that I am more of a help bringing him around to a happy place again rather than a hindrance. Each night we hang out for about an hour after Toddler D goes to bed and then we each do our own thing for about an hour. I have been working on my unfinished projects bin (pictures to be posted upon completion of said projects) and he has been doing his video game thing or watching random television shows.  I think in some ways the space is a really good thing for us, but what is most important is that we no longer feel the need to spend every waking moment together. We have grown. Each of us doing the things that make us happy individually helps us to be happier with each other.

We will continue to settle back in, and I'm sure by the time we are as close to 100% as we are going to get the army is going to throw something completely new at us and we will start a brand new readjustment period.