Taking Back the Power

I have noticed something lately, I seem to have given all of my power away. My power over how I feel about my body. My power over how I feel about myself as a mommy. My power over how I feel about myself as a wife. I have let how other people perceive me from the outside looking in impact how I feel about myself.  People who don't live my life and people who (in many cases) I don't know and will never even say a word to.  I have decided that this stops today.

I think I am a good person. I think, for a mom, a 30 year old woman and someone who has been permanently disabled since she was 20, I have a pretty nice body - heck just today I was able to get into my size 2 jeans.  For some reason I have let how people might interpret the fact that I prefer jeans, a comfy tee and a pony tail impact how I view myself. The way I dress has everything to do with comfort - not the fact that I have "given up" on myself. I don't like wearing make-up, and I really don't like doing my hair. I can think of 1000 other things I could be doing with the 20 - 30 minutes that takes me every day.  Maybe if I had a full time job I would invest the time, but that is a completely different situation (and by the way, when I did work full time I still didn't do my hair and make up every day).

I let how people might perceive my parenting decisions impact my self worth as a parent. No I don't panic every time Toddler D falls, I let her get up and decide if she needs hugs and loves before rushing over to her in a panic.  The vast majority of the time she brushes a fall off and moves on to the next thing.  I let people judge me based on what she eats and drinks. Yup, when we are at a restaurant I absolutely give her french fries. If we are eating them and she wants one I'm not going to tell her no, I don't think that is fair to her. We don't go out very often so she doesn't get to eat them very often, she is certainly in no immediate danger of being considered over weight, so I'm not too chuffed if all she eats when we go to Applebee's is fries.  I know that during the day she ate plenty of healthy food to make up for the cruddy dinner she is eating. 

I let people judge my marriage - and let me tell you folks, that stops today.  Until you walk a mile in my shoes, in my marriage then don't even consider judging it or me.  We have our issues like any couple and we are working hard to resolve those issues.  There is tons of love to go around but as a military family it is really hard when we don't get to see each other and there is always another deployment or other type of separation looming on the horizon. 

I am Mrs. D and I am taking back my power. I know deep in my soul that I am a good person, a good mom, and a good wife. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks about me.  If I can look at myself in the mirror every morning and still like what I see then I must be doing something right.  I hope you will take back the power too. 

PS. If you haven't seen this blog, go check it out and remember that you are Awesome!