So it has been 2 months since I have blogged here. Oh, yes, I said here. I blog somewhere else too. I haven't blogged here because here...I am a different person. Here I am open and completely honest about practically every aspect of my life and that can be really hard at times. I have been trying something new the past few months and for the most part it has been really working for me. I have been focusing on all the good in my life and what I have to be thankful for and I have been a much happier person.
I do have so much to be grateful for. My wonderful family - my amazing daughter and wonderful husband! They are my everything. I am grateful for the house we live in and my parents who have helped us so much. I am grateful that I am finally beginning to get it - the it being what it means to be an army wife and what that "job" entails (and yes, it is a job - a full time job, especially when you have a child).
There have been other things going on too - things I haven't really put into words very often or in very many places. I have been sick, really sick. I have lost close to 20 lbs and I have no explanation as to why. That scares the pants off me. I have been in the hospital for testing and I don't have answers yet. I am also living in a current state of exhaustion. When you have a 2 year old you have to keep up and Toddler D can be difficult to keep up with as she is a bundle of energy (which is a good thing!). Being sick for so long and losing so much weight, so quickly and without trying, is really scary. I am as thin as I was on my wedding day. Most women would be so happy about this, but I'm not, I want to know why I can eat 2 or 3 thousand calories in a day and still lose sometimes 2 lbs over night. That is not normal.
I am looking forward to a much needed vacation next week. We are heading back to CA for the holidays. SSG D (yup, SSG - SGT D has been promoted to SSG D) really needs a break and we are going to make it extra special this time by taking Toddler D with my parents to Lake Tahoe. We have been getting ready for that experience for weeks, making sure we have the right clothes and gear for snow play. Tahoe better deliver on the snow after all our preparations! We are going to take some time to really relax on this trip. Less running around and more time just enjoying ourselves as a family. That will be a welcome change and hopefully it will take my mind of other things....
Happy holidays everyone and I'm sorry for being a bad blogger (AGAIN!).
3 comments:
I am right there with you wishing they could explain your illness. I pray the recent testing will bring some sort of answer. I know that you will have a great vacation with your family... and if Tahoe does not have snow at Christmas time... well let's just say, EPIC FAIL!
i'm sorry you've been so sick and have been dealing with this unexplained weightloss. hopefully the doctors can give you some answers soon and you can get back to your normal life. hope you all enjoy the holidays and get the much needed break you all deserve so much!
We forgive you.
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