Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Tis the season

It is three days until Christmas and this year it is a real mixed bag of blessings. I was given the greatest gift of my life last month with the birth of my daughter. The month before that my parents gave me the gift of two months of their loving support, my mom in person and my dad letting my mom go for two months to be with me. I know that it hasn't been easy on them to be apart for such a long time, especially when you consider they have been together since they were teenagers.

The mixed bag portion comes from the loss of my husband's grandfather this past weekend, and my husband's imminent deployment to far off lands. I have also been struggling with being sick, which is made all the more difficult because I have a 6 week old that I need to nurse and take care of, and lets not even mention the sleep deprivation that comes along with the 6 week old. I know in my brain that I can handle taking care of her by myself in the coming year, but that doesn't make the thought any easier for my heart to handle. I just keep reminding myself that I need to put my big girl panties on and just make it happen. No one else is going to do it for me and I have to do it for her.

Tuesday, December 08, 2009

Fear

Who knew that someone so small and cute could instill such a sense of foreboding and fear in a person. I love my daughter to bits and pieces but when she starts to screw her face up into the "I'm gonna scream and there's nothing you can do about it" face, I just get this sense like the world is going to end. I know the main reason I fear that face is because there isn't much I can do to make her feel better most of the time. She has a little bit of trouble going to the bathroom (this should improve in a couple months as her stomach muscles get stronger) and besides feeding her and holding her, until she can tell me or show me where it hurts we are both at a loss.

One thing I have decided I am going to do in order to help both of us is start using baby sign language. I ordered a book last week and it arrived today and it said to start at six months with about six signs. It isn't until that age that babies have the hand eye coordination to be able to make the signs back. The book has a total of 300 signs to use with Baby D and I am going to spend my time in the next 5 months trying to master them so that I can communicate with my baby. From everything I read there are nothing but positive outcomes from babies who sign at an early age, including: higher IQs, stronger verbal abilities at earlier ages, etc.

It is hard to believe that I am afraid of a cute little baby wearing a bright pink snow jacket...

Sunday, December 06, 2009

Sleep

Sleep has suddenly become a precious commodity around our house. No one is getting any it seems...except for Baby D, and even then only during the day light hours. It turns out that our little girl is a bit of a night owl. I am hoping this isn't foreshadowing a future of late night partying and skipping curfew, but who knows at this stage. All I do know for certain is that everyone around here is tired and in desperate need of a nap!

Another thing that sleep deprivation has caused is a new love for the weekends. On the weekends, Sgt D is home and can help me in the wee day light hours by taking her and letting me catch a few zzzzz, unfortunately that means he isn't sleeping as much as he would like on the weekends. Normally that would bother me, but honestly, I'm too tired to care right now :)

Here's our angel...WIDE AWAKE!

Friday, December 04, 2009

22 Days

That is how old my daughter is today. She is 22 days old. I can't believe that I have been a mom for 22 days already. It is still somewhat surreal, but that could also be because of the sleep deprivation that I am currently experiencing. Sgt D works all day so he needs to sleep at night, which leaves me to carry the load during the nighttime hours. Luckily my mom is still here to help me out in the mornings when I get to experience a few precious hours of sleep. Baby D has so far mastered the fine art of smiling (it is NOT gas!), and she is enjoying her daily belly time and working on lifting her head. I am quite proud of the progress she has made.

In 22 days she has gained a full pound, now weighing in at 9 lbs even, and is at least 2.5 inches longer than she was at birth. She has her mommy, daddy, nana and grandpa wrapped around her little finger and is absolutely perfect in every way...although she does need to work on sleeping through the night. I am hoping that will come with time.