Small Moments = Big Memories

I've been trying to capture moments. In my mind's eye or on my camera.  Every chance I get.

Watching them play with her dolls in her bedrooms. I watched for a good 5 minutes from her door before they realized I was there this morning. There is nothing sweeter than watching a big strong soldier playing on the floor with his 2 year old little girls dolls. It just melted my heart, for both of them.

Walking in on them building with legos, she likes to go big or go home, so everything is tall and rickety. He likes to build superstructures and she likes to destroy them. Watching them interact and play just puts a smile in my heart.

I am trying to hold on to these moments and memories, so that when I get sad and down a month from now I can remember them, and when I can discreetly take a picture and capture that moment I do. I know it will come in handy when she is missing him and I need to remind her just how much he loves her and misses her.

The other night I was particularly down and they both came in the kitchen, turned on, as Toddler D calls it "The Cars Song" and we danced for like 45 minutes together. We all had so much fun. It was a small moment in time, a passing moment, but it was a lasting memory for all of us. 

Running Out of Time

I find that we are quickly running out of time. Time for long walks, time to go to the park, time to read stories and giggle together.  We are just running out of time. Don't get me wrong, these things aren't going to end or suddenly disappear from our lives, no, we will keep doing them, we just won't be doing them as a whole family for awhile.  This separation is taking its toll on us. Toddler D knows and understands that Daya is going away, she doesn't understand the reasons and likely she wouldn't care if she did understand, but she definitely gets that he is leaving. This is hard and she is going out of her way to express her displeasure. I don't really blame her and honestly I'm not even mad at her for it (although I do get quite frustrated in the moment - hard not to when she throws a slinky at my head - and she throws hard!).  I just wish I could make it all better. Better for her, better for me and better for SSG D. I know that I can't and that is the hardest thing.

I keep telling myself, put your big girl panties on and deal with it, like you always do. This time I just really don't want to. I'll be perfectly honest, I am NOT IN THE MOOD!  Things are really really good right now for us and this deployment is just getting in the way. I am going to try and approach it as a challenge, something to be conquered and overcome, but that isn't always easy.  I have to trust in the love that we have for each other to pull us through.

This time is different because the challenges are different. Last time Toddler D was 6 weeks old and didn't have a clue what was going on. She didn't even know that Daya was gone, she had no concept of what having a Daya meant. Well...this time Toddler D is 2.5 and she knows! Not only does she know but she is 100% in love with her Daya. Challenge number 2 is the fact that we have our own home this time - talk about responsibility! I have absolutely no interest in mowing my lawn but the HOA says that I have to do it! Thank God for neighbors with teenage boys who want spending money for the summer, not quite sure what I would do if I had to mow the lawn other than pay a pretty penny to get someone else to do it.  I am now in charge of all home maintenance. If the toilet stops up there is no calling on base housing to have them fix it, nope, I am now the house plumber!  Wish me luck. 

Have patience with me in the coming weeks and months, this is not going to be easy. Lucky for Toddler D and I, we have my parents and SSG D's parents who we will be spending time with. I am looking forward to the adult interaction for me and the extra distraction for Toddler D. Say a prayer of safety for SSG D, I will blog again after he has left here and arrived safely at his new temporary home for the next 9 months.