Monday, June 28, 2010

Baby Book

I have been keeping a baby book for Baby D. It is not your typical baby book, more of a journal really, it is called "The First 1000 Days".  This is the prefect type of baby book for me because I know that were I trying to make my own scrapbook or even keep up with a traditional baby book, Baby D would not have anything filled in beyond the first couple pages.

The thing I like best about our baby book is that it is literally a blank page. I can write whatever I want in it and with the exception of some prompts towards the end of the book, I have complete control over the contents of the book.  The only problem I have with it is that every day something new happens for her, whether it be learning a new skill or tasting a new food and I am finding that I do not have enough room to write everything that I want to.

One thing that is going to be cool is when Sgt D comes home he will be able to look through the book and the pictures I have been sending him the past 6 months and he will have an idea of what happened, when and what she looked like on those days.  Another thing I am excited about is the day, years from now, when I get to give it to Baby D.  Hopefully she will appreciate the wonderful gift of getting to see herself as a child :)

Sunday, June 27, 2010

Cutest.Baby.EVER!

I don't really have much to say with this post other than isn't my baby ADORABLE!!!

Saturday, June 26, 2010

I'll be cured...

I was talking to Sgt D today and I told him that it was good he called me today because if he hadn't I would have started to worry. I told him it was a sickness and that I would be cured of this disease sometime in the next 4 or 5 months.  He laughed because oddly enough my time frame for a cure coincides with his not soon enough homecoming :)

I realize that a deployment isn't a disease, but sometimes the side effects can feel like one.  The constant worrying, the sleepless nights (oh wait, those are mostly because of Baby D), the emptiness in my heart, etc etc.

I can't wait for my cure and I am so glad that we have more than passed the halfway point!

Thursday, June 24, 2010

And now in Baby news...

She stands! Well she can pull herself up to standing from a seated position when sitting on her changing table, but in my mind that is still a huge milestone.

And speaking of milestones, Baby D sure has had a lot of them lately.  She is now eating most veggies and has had bananas, pears (which she is allergic too), peaches and apples.  Next week we are going to do mangoes.  She is eating chicken and turkey now too.  The coolest thing when it comes to eating, at least from the mommy perspective, is that she likes to feed herself now.  She can feed herself puffs, biter biscuits (her favorite), and last night she fed herself chunks of sweet potato for the first time.  Baby D is growing so fast it is amazing.

As of this morning she weighs 21.5 lbs, is wearing size 12 and 18 month clothes and size 4 diapers.  I can't believe how far she has come since November when she weighed 8 lbs and was wearing newborn clothes.  My little girl is not so little anymore, but she is definitely still my baby.

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Dear Deployment

I hate you. I realize that hate is a very strong emotion but I cannot help the way that I feel. You have taken so much from my family this year. You have deprived me of my partner in life, Sgt D. You have deprived Baby D of her wonderful loving daddy, and you have taken away Sgt D’s only opportunity to see Baby D grow and change during the first year of her life.

We have missed out on so many things this year. We lost Valentine’s Day. It would have been nice to have been able to cook a candlelit dinner for my husband and enjoy a quiet romantic moment with him after Baby D went to bed. We missed out on Sgt D’s birthday in March. I love birthdays, and celebrating them has always been important to me, this year would have been amazing for Sgt D because it was the day that Baby D laughed for the first time. He would have loved to receive that as a present. Our first Easter with Baby D came and went without any fanfare. I dressed her up in her bunny outfit and took some really cute pictures to send him, but other than that it was just another day in our lives.

Mother’s Day was particularly difficult for me. It was my first Mother’s Day, not counting last year when I was pregnant, and I am sure that Sgt D would have done something special to celebrate the day. I guess I will have to wait until next year to find out what it would be like to have my whole family present. My mom did rescue the day partially by being with us. It was nice to be together, three generations of women, but if I had a choice, I would much rather have had Sgt D deployed! Father’s Day was really hard, harder than Mother’s Day actually. I wanted to make him feel special and let him know just how important he is to our family, but alas, I had to settle for a 15 min conversation on the phone. I couldn’t even send him a care package for a multitude of reasons, so he will get his Father’s Day presents some time in July.

I cannot say that this experience has been all bad. I have learned how to do so much on my own. I have learned that I can go for months on end sleep deprived and not kill every person that tells me babies do sleep through the night. I have developed a sense of control over my emotions that I never previously had. I used to let the tiniest thing set me off and maybe it is a combination of becoming a mother and having to deal with everything on my own, but I do not sweat the small stuff nearly as much as I used to. I think that the love that Sgt D and I have for each other has grown even deeper and that we have developed a more intense appreciate for each of our little quirks. I miss watching him come home and straighten up our house because he can’t sit still unless it is perfect.

Maybe hate is too strong of a word…but I know this much deployment, we will never be friends. You have taken too much from my family and I.

Sincerely,

Disgruntled army wife of a deployed soldier

Mrs. D

Monday, June 21, 2010

Moments

I think I may have finally figured out the part of this deployment that I hate most. It is all the little moments that Sgt D is missing in Baby D's life.

He missed the first time that she turned in response to her name. That was such a huge moment that I actually wrote a blog post about it. He missed the first time she discovered her feet. Now it is a challenge to keep them out of her mouth, which I really only do when she is wearing socks. Nothing like having wet socks on your feet. He missed the first time she reached out when someone offered her their hands and asked if she wanted to come to them, that was so amazing because I was finally able to see her social personality developing. He missed the first time that she impatiently put her arms out when lying on her back and grunted at me as if to say "you will help me to sit up...NOW!"

All of these moments have added up to watching her fun and bright personality develop. This deployment has stolen so many moments from us, but I can't bring myself to be bitter towards it. As much as this deployment sucks and as much as I hate it, it has given me so many life changing moments that have taught me volumes about myself and my family. I only wish Sgt D could have been here to experience them firsthand.

Sunday, June 20, 2010

Holidays

This was going to be a post about Father's Day, but clearly I am a day late and a dollar short on that bus ride. So instead I decided to write about holidays and special occasions in general and how much they have changed for me over the past 7ish months.

The biggest change is Baby D. Holidays and special occasions were always cool to me simply because they were special and they break up the monotony of our every day lives. It is nice to have something to celebrate and while some holidays (like Valentine's Day) are asinine to me, I do enjoy them for the most part. Whether it be picking out cards to send to special people or maybe wearing a cute themed outfit (St. Patrick's Day comes to mind), it is a nice distraction from our daily grind. Now I get to dress up Baby D for the holiday and, well this goes without saying, I get to take cute pictures of her, and as she gets older these holidays will only be more fun as she starts to take a real interest in them.

The other big change is of course that Sgt D has been gone since the beginning of the year and I no longer get to celebrate anything with him. I realize that this is only temporary, but I never realized just how much that would change my perspective on things. I think I can honestly say that if it were not for our beautiful baby girl, I probably would have skipped or ignored the vast majority of holidays this year.

The day I am looking forward to least is my upcoming birthday. I am going to be 29, Sgt D is always reminding just how close I am to the big 3 0, and I just don't really feel like celebrating. For starters, I can't have anything to eat that I would like to because of Baby D's food allergies. This means no cake, no ice cream, no pie. I am honestly considering telling my mom to just stick a candle in my salad for me to blow out. I know this too is only temporary, and that this time next year I will get to eat real food again, but for some reason it makes it feel even less like I am having a birthday. Then there is the fact that I picked out and bought my own birthday present from Sgt D. He is in Afghanistan and not exactly near any great stores to go shopping so I decided to take care of it myself. I got exactly what I wanted and it is a fairly practical gift (a Tom Tom with lifetime traffic and maps), but this too makes the day less special. I will have no presents to open, although I am sure my mom and dad will have a card for me which will be nice (they already bought me a nice brand new pair of sandals that I wanted).

I guess to sum this long blog post up, I can just say that things have certainly changed this past year, especially my perspective on life. More importantly though...I can't wait for next year. Even if it does mean I will be turning thirty!

Tuesday, June 01, 2010

The month of May

Some of you may have noticed that I did not blog at all in the month of May. Believe me I have a good reason. I spent the entire month sick and in and out of the hospital trying to get properly diagnosed and then treated. The real icing on the cake was the fact that the treatment proceeded to make both Baby D and I sick after wards!

I am lucky because my mom was able to come up to Washington and take care of Baby D and I while I recovered. I ended up getting mastitis, which turned into staph (because the doctors put me on the wrong medication) and then Baby D and I both got Thrush/yeast infection. To say the least May was a really fun month.

Some good things happened though. Baby D turned 6 months old. I got to enjoy my first Mother's Day, I even got a really special card from Sgt D. We made a new good friend and Baby D had 3 play dates this month. I am trying to get her used to being around lots of different people so she will be social.

We are both healthy now, and the best part is that we are in California with my parents. Baby D has finally found her voice and is babbling away. She sounds so cute, but let me tell you, when she is angry, watch out! She is learning so much everyday and it is fun to watch her discover new things. She recently discovered her ears and likes to pull them a lot, she has also discovered arching her back and she does it every time she gets upset or is done with whatever activity we are doing.