This Old House

I grew up in an old house. I am going to say it is probably around 80 years old...well that isn't being entirely fair. The addition to the house is probably closer to 21 or 22 years old. Not exactly young for a house.  I love my parents house. It has a lot of character. It has a completely finished attic, which when we originally went house hunting in 1992, my parents and I jokingly referred to as E's room (E is my older brother). Oddly enough he did end up living up there in his late teens - his choice.  It has two garages, a his and hers if you will and you can tell the which one is which!  When we moved in it had the UGLIEST wallpaper I had ever encountered in my life, it still holds the record 19 years later!  Mom and dad quickly tore it down and have since repainted the entire room.  It has a basement that has flooded at least once, a chimney that is literally strapped to the side of the house, and an awesome back yard with a spa (that mom and dad added when I was 15 - my high school friends loved parties at my house). 

Sgt D and I are building our own home. We got to pick everything, right down to the style and brand of our toilet. Can you imagine making those choices? If we got the colors wrong we are stuck with them for a very long long time!  We picked our fridge, our stove, our cabinets, the flooring, the counter tops, etc etc etc.  It was exhausting.  My parents even flew up one weekend to help us make some of the decision regarding electrical because neither Sgt D or I was qualified to make those choices on our own. Thanks mom and dad for always having our backs!  We are going to have a cookie cutter home, the only character our house is going to have is what we bring to the table. I cannot wait to move in and start bringing some of our character into the house!

Here is a little picture collage of our house from the day we put up the SOLD sign on our lot through today. As of this afternoon our house has a roof and windows. It is really starting to look like a house!

Do I Make You Proud?

This is a question that occupied my mind a lot growing up and into my adult years. The question was usually directed towards my parents. I wanted their approval, but more importantly, I wanted to make them proud. I wanted them to be able to proudly say to any person they met that I was their daughter.  I still want to make my mom and dad proud, but these days I keep thinking about another person in my life that I want to make proud, Toddler D.

I am not seeking her approval, but I do want her to want to say "that is my mom and she is the best". I truly want to do everything in my power to make her proud to have me as a parent, mother, confidant and friend. I am proud of my parents. I think they are truly amazing people. To have gone as far in their lives as they have and to have accomplished all that they have professionally while neither of them possess college degrees is so impressive. It is, I'm sure, also part of the reason it was so important to them that I get my college degree, not because they thought it would put me above or ahead of anyone else, but rather so I wouldn't have to encounter many of the struggles that they faced in their professional careers. I am proud of them because they have been married since 1972.  How many people these days can say that?!? And even more importantly, they are still in love!  That makes me so proud of my parents because they never gave up on each other, even during the hard times. I don't really know if they had hard times but I assume that all marriages go through periods that are rougher than others.  I am proud of the fact that they are STILL taking risks and chances. They travel to far off countries that I know they would never have gone to 20 years ago, but now they just buy a plane ticket and go.

That all being said, I have been thinking about this question: How do I make Toddler D proud? Is it my actions? Is it how I treat her, her daddy, the people in our lives? Is it having a job/career? Is it making beautiful things? What can I do that is going to make her proud to say that I'm her mommy.

This year, 2011, has become a year of self-improvement for me. Not because I set a New Year's Resolution, but simply because as the past three months have gone by I have come to recognize that there are things about myself that I want to change and improve upon, for no one other than me. This time though, I want to make a change for her. I want to go out of my way to act in ways that would make her proud, quite specifically treating others the way that I want to be treated. If I want to be respected then I need to act in a respectful manner at all times. This may very well be the hardest part of parenthood. When you are single or it is just you and your partner there really isn't anyone watching you, but when I see my little mimic I realize that she is watching my EVERY MOVE and it is time that I act in ways that I want her to mimic and learn.

Success

Every time I think of the word "success" I think of the movie "The Secret to My Success" with Michael J. Fox at the very end when the song plays "The Secret of My Success". I love that song and actually whenever I need to spell the word the song plays in my head because they spell it out.

What the hell am I talking about?!?

I was just wondering how you measure success? I have found over the past few years that my measuring stick has changed. I used to measure it based on my job, my income, where I lived, etc. etc.  That has all changed. I can't measure on most of those things anymore. My "job" is a stay at home mom, part-time photographer who isn't making any money, crafter/designer, and wife. I guess I can also add full-time student to that list as Toddler D teaches me something new every day.  So how do I measure success in my life? Am I successful because Toddler D can put a puzzle together by herself?  Am I successful because I designed her Easter basket entirely on my own? 

I know I am not a failure at life, but I wonder if I can describe myself as successful at life? Thinking of the different people in my life I would definitely have to say that my parents have been very successful. They both have jobs that they have grown in and they have a beautiful home and family.  Both of their kids are doing "okay" and they now have the freedom to travel the world which, when Sgt D isn't deployed, they do quite regularly with their traveling buddies. 

I think I can honestly say that some things I have been very successful at and other things I have, in the words of Sgt D, "Super Failed" at.  I can live with that. We learn from our failures and I am still learning from mine.  One things is for sure...Toddler D was more than a success, she was a Super Success!

7 Days Can Change A LOT!

Here is what our house looked like on Day 0

Big weed covered empty lot

Here is what our house looked like on Day 1:

Big hole in the ground with a garage concrete slab

Here is what our house looked like on Day 2:

Big shipment of wood and the beginnings of garage walls

Here is what our house looked like on Day 7:

We have a second story!!!

And a roof too!!!

When I say seven days, I mean build days. Quadrant - the builder, does not work at all on weekends. Can you believe the progress from day 0 to day 7?!? These guys know what they are doing!

Spoiled v. Blessed

Someone asked me the other day if I thought I was spoiled. I said "No, but I do think that I am a very blessed individual."

I think there is a fine line between being spoiled and being blessed. I think that when I was younger the argument could definitely be made that I was spoiled. My parents spoiled me, my God parents spoiled me, my boyfriend spoiled me, etc etc etc.  I think as I have gotten older things have changed from being spoiled to being blessed.  Don't get me wrong, my parents and God parents are still just as generous and giving to me, it is me that has changed.

I am a much more grateful person. I see now just how lucky I am to have the people in my life that I do, and how lucky I am that they are in the positions they are in to help me and my family.  I am so thankful for them and thankful for all that they do for me and that is where the difference lies. I now know what it means to be truly grateful and thankful for all that I have and all that I have been given.

As a child and teenager and even into my early twenties, I took a lot of things for granted. I took for granted that I went to private schools and that my tuition was for the most part entirely paid for. Yes, I worked while I was in college, but it wasn't to pay the bills, it was so that I could have spending money.  Now, when I look back, I thank my lucky stars that my parents were in the financial position they were in and were able to send me to a top rated west coast university.

Knowing when you are blessed versus simply taking it all for granted, that is the difference between someone who is spoiled and someone who knows they have it good and is thankful to those that make their life possible.

A lot of people have made the quality of my life possible and I am grateful to each and every one of them.  Thank you for blessing me all these years with your love and generosity. You know who you are and I cannot imagine my life without you in it, and I frankly don't want to either!