The Deal

You make this deal with yourself when you marry someone in the military, their career comes first. Usually it is because you don’t really have a choice, you got married really young, right out of high school, neither one of you really had an education or a skillset and the army guaranteed a life. It guaranteed housing, food, medical benefits, a pension if you lasted 20 years, and a salary that covered all your expenses if you lived modestly enough. If you are like me, you got married in your mid-twenties, you already had a pretty decent career going, and your husband was looking at making the military his career. You figured, 17 more years in the military would not be so bad and with your college degree and the skills you had already acquired working for nine years in the corporate world, getting a job anywhere would be a relatively easy process…that is until you got to your first military town, during a recession. The closest and best jobs are more than 50 miles away and while you get 1-2 job interview offers a day you can’t afford the gas, the commute or the time away from your marriage, even if you landed the job (and job title of your dreams). It comes down to sacrifice. You have to be willing to put it all on the line for your spouses career. As everyone keeps reminding you, you did sign up for this. You no longer live in Silicon Valley where there are job opportunities around every corner. You need to figure out how to make it work. Someone spent $150k on your education, they thought you were smart enough to invest that much money in you, prove them right and figure out how to make this work. Figure out how to “have it all”. The job, the husband, and the happiness you deserve.